Marriage by the Feds

     I am a big fan of the Constitution, especially the Bill of Rights, and especially the last-but-not-least 10th Amendment. This amendment says that anything that is not specifically mentioned in the Constitution or its amendments, nor prohibited by it, is left up to "the States, or to the People." This means that each state will decide for itself those matters not covered by the Constitution, or we can have a national public vote to decide.

     This amendment was important at the time of (leading up to) the Civil War, because it was not specified that slavery was federally outlawed, so it was up to the States.

As with many laws and amendments, there are times when it doesn't fully make sense to do it a particular way, so another way needs to be figured out. So as to disallow any given state from putting a law into effect limiting the life, liberty, or pursuit of happiness of any US citizen (including the slaves freed when the 13th Amendment was ratified and adopted), they made the 14th Amendment. This one goes on to state that all US citizens shall be afforded the same rights in the eyes of legal matters.

     One of the many matters that is not covered specifically in the US Constitution is the matter of legal matrimony. Since it is not mentioned, this matter is left up to the States individually. But many federal and state government documents, procedures, and other matters such as taxes, in some part rely on an individual's matrimony status. This elevates the (traditionally religious) matter of marriage to a legal matter, much like many contracts that are executed in business dealings, child adoptions, automobile registration, etc.

     For many people this is an emotional issue, but for the government, it is not. They (The Supreme Court, for instance) have to look at the laws and compare them with the wording and (their interpretation of) the intent of the Constitution. It needs to be as un-emotional as possible when they are looking at it. Laws should not be made or changed based on emotion. And, according to the 1st Amendment, laws shall not be made "respecting [regarding] an establishment of religion [any religion], nor preventing the free exercise thereof [any religion]."

     So they looked at the facts. The facts are these:

• Marriage is not specified in the Constitution, so it is generally a matter left to the States. 
• Many states have decided to include all human beings, not just heterosexual humans, in being able to enter legal matrimony with the person of their choosing, regardless of gender.
• Some states have decided not to include homosexual citizens in this ... this... um ... let's say.... this particular pursuit of happiness.

     Similar to several states not giving equal rights to people of color back in the day because it was a state issue, the federal government has decided to step in and force the states to include all citizens in this matter.

     As a person whose political views lean toward libertarianism, I say great!

     As a person whose spiritual beliefs lean toward Jesus Christ, I say great! Jesus taught us to welcome all into the fold and love your fellow human as you would love yourself. He taught us not to judge someone based on what we think their sins are.

Facebook Merging

I have had two Facebook profiles for these past several years. I also have a Facebook “page” for my photography business, but two actual personal profiles. My reasoning is simple. I wanted to be completely honest and uncensored on Facebook, but I wasn't sure that I wanted clients, colleagues, and potential clients and colleagues to see the uncensored side of me. It’s not that I was in any way untruthful on one or the other profile, but just that there were sides of my personality that I wanted to remain guarded from certain groups of acquaintances. 

So I created two profiles instead of one. One of them, my main one, was for family and friends whom I knew from childhood and in the Navy. The other profile included mainly those people whom I've met since getting out of the Navy, and/or people with whom I've interacted here in the Atlanta area. 

Having more than one personal profile is against the Facebook Terms & Conditions, and I have read that if they find out that you have two they will either delete both of them or will warn you to deactivate one (and then delete them both if you fail to comply).

I conducted an online search about the benefits and pitfalls of having two profiles to separate your personal life from your business life. Most of the search results referred to the Terms & Conditions mentioned above. The more I thought about it though, the more I wanted to combine my two profiles. Most people I know have just one profile where they are friends with family, friends, clients, colleagues, co-workers, etc. and that was beginning to finally seem desirable to me. It is annoying having to log on to two different profiles. Since you can only have one instance of the Facebook app on your cell phone, I would have to go to the internet browser to check my “other” profile. Likewise, the Facebook Messenger app only works with one profile, so I'd have to check messages on the browser for the other one. 

I have been working on simplifying my life and my home these past couple years, so combining profiles just makes sense now. So I put out a message on my “other” profile (the one where clients and colleagues are friends) telling them that I would like for them to friend me on my other profile which will soon become my only profile. I am pleased and grateful that many of the people accepted this almost immediately, and many more over the next couple days. I still have some pending friend requests out there, which I'm sure they will get to eventually. 

I must say that there was an immediate feeling of relief inside when I started getting the friend notifications. I don't know if I can pinpoint why, but for some reason I just feel so much better having invited the rest of my friends over to my main profile. It’s a nervous and exciting feeling inviting people with whom you've only had a professional relationship into your real world and letting them see your true self. In the end I will be happy to have everyone in my life all on the same profile. This is a feeling that most of you probably took for granted, or possibly it’s not the same for you; maybe you long for having two profiles so that you can keep yourself guarded from certain people and groups. To you I say if you do not feel like using the existing enigma of privacy settings in Facebook, you may need to pare down your friend list so that you can be yourself and express your true feelings without fear. 

Write a Letter

            I have written a few letters to friends and family lately. This doesn't seem like it should be a big feat. But I have been living in the land of computers for a very long time now. I got my first e-mail address about 20 years ago, and since then have not really actually put pen to paper and written in the old-school ways.

I remember being in college the first time, Fall Semester of 1996, at Montana State University – Billings, sitting in the office of The Retort, which is the student newspaper. I would stay there all night sometimes, surfing the Internet, e-mailing high school friends whose email addresses I knew, and hanging out on chat rooms that I could find. I was fascinated by how easy it now was to communicate with people in distant lands like Nebraska. Back then the chat room messages weren't in real time. You actually had to refresh every few seconds to see if someone else had commented (“A/S/L everybody!”). I digress.

Anyway, I had stopped actually penning letters to my one pen pal Leah, who I had met in Spearfish, South Dakota when she and two of her friends were attending the same Christian music festival as my brother, my cousin, and I were. We were all staying at the KOA “kampground” and we met up at the onsite laundromat. Great story, actually. I'll have to tell you about it someday. Maybe.

I am a sentimental type who likes to try the old ways of doing things, and lately I've realized that for the most part, I like them better. Shaving, photographing, writing, among others. All very good blog topics. Sometime.

It’s a nostalgic and very “real” feeling, putting actual pen to actual paper. Also, I would imagine when someone opens the letter that you've actually taken the time to write him or her, they feel special. They know that you've thought about them specifically. This is much more personal and intimate than writing on their Facebook timeline, the motivation for which may be as inorganic as just having seen a post by them. You weren't thinking of them, you didn't go out of your way, you may not even have remembered that they existed, for all they know, until you came across the photo of their breakfast or cat or kid.

     So pick up a piece of paper and pick up a pen or pencil or crayon for that matter. Put the two together for five minutes and let someone know that you are thinking of them.
     Write to your friend from high school whose posts you haven't seen for awhile on your news feed.
     Write to your nephew or niece, who is being inundated with digital communication in this new age.
     Write to your mother, who will feel overwhelmingly wistful and grateful.

I picked these notecards up from Target for about $15.
Atop is one of my Pilot Metropolitan fountain pens, which also cost about $15 online.
You don't have to get fancy though; a piece of notebook paper will do!

     And for God’s sake, folks, write to your father this week. Send his letter so that it will get to him in Saturday’s mailbox at the latest. You will miss this opportunity when it’s gone. Trust me.