My new position as a retail sales associate has introduced me to a new array of the spectrum of personalities. You always learn something new just after thinking, “I’ve seen it all.”
Ms. B, as we’ll call her for now, came into the store the other day. In her hand she held five prints, all being 4” by 6”. She came up to the counter, where I could not help but to notice that she (or someone close to her) had most likely paid handsomely for her bust size. Nice to look at, but I was soon disappointed by an extreme vacuum of intelligence.
As our Ms. B laid the photographs on the counter, she pointed to the first three (two of which were from the same frame of negative). “First of all, I need these fixed. I got them done here, and they turned out like this.”
The photographs had turned out exactly as Ms. B had shot them – underexposed. As it turned out, she had used a one-time-use disposable camera. Looking at the photographs, I saw that they were of a group of children. Like a Sunday school class or something of the sort. She had done at least one of the following while shooting the photos with her $5 camera:
• Stood too far away for the flash to be effective, or
• Not ensured that the flash fired at all, or
• Turned the flash off and did not have adequate ambient lighting.
“I come here a lot. They know me here,” she said to me. She then looked back into the photo lab and beckoned for my co-worker in the lab to come out to the front counter. Seeing the look on my co-worker’s face at the beckoning, I couldn’t help but thinking, I’ll bet they do know you.
My lab tech co-worker said, “Do you have the negatives for these pictures?” to which the beloved customer replied, “I have so many boxes of negatives at home…I am not going to search through them all just for these negatives. I just want you to fix these pictures.”
Of course, without the negatives, the best we can do is to make an exact copy of the photographs. After I told her so, she claimed, “Well, it has to be better than they are now.”
I said, “Probably not. You see, this print is actually a copy of the negative. If we scan it and try to fix it, we’ll actually be making a copy of that copy. When you make a copy of a copy, it cannot possibly be better than said copy. But we’ll sure give it a try for you.”
“Then why even bother if it won’t work? Why even waste your time on them?” She was almost yelling at me now. Ah, the joys of being the guy with the nametag on. I resisted the temptation to tell her that no, her crappy attempt at photography was in fact not worth my time.
“I said we’d give it a try and see what we can do.”
She walked out of the store shaking her head. And we’re still talking about her.
Labels: film, photographs, Ritz Camera, Wolf Camera