Memorial Day thoughts

For years I’ve seen people and businesses confuse Memorial Day with Veterans’ Day, and it’s always bothered me. In fact, many people can’t remember which holiday comes at what time in the calendar. This year though, I’ve finally seen other people speak out about the fact that they are different holidays for different purposes. When someone points out that someone else is confusing the two, some of the responses are truly baffling to me.

            “Why are you complaining about getting a discount or something for free?” they will say when a veteran points out to a restaurant offering free meals to active duty and veteran military members that it’s not Veterans’ Day and they shouldn’t treat it as such. “Gift horse, man,” is one of the actual responses I saw the other day. They just don’t get it, and I don’t know if they ever will.

            It is probably more difficult for civilians to understand, since usually that is who is offering the responses that we veterans shouldn't complain when we get something at a discount or for free on Memorial Day.  I would imagine that even some veterans don't really care about the difference. But some of us do. We care a lot.

            In the military, you see a lot of credit and accolades being given to those who you think don't really deserve it. Likewise, you see a lot of punishment being doled out to those who really didn't have any control over the situation that warranted punishment. For me, this gave me an attitude of “give credit where credit’s due” as much as possible.

            When you join the military, whether your reason is selfish like getting a signing bonus & free college or more noble like “protecting freedom” or something, you know and must understand that you are offering your life to the nation, and if you lose your life in defense of your country, that is part of the gig. There is a chance that you will make the “ultimate sacrifice” for your beloved republic. To honor those who have put their lives on the line, we have Veterans’ Day.

            As a military member, during your time in the service, you may possibly lose one of your colleagues, brothers-in-arms, in combat or some other way. Some of us lost brothers, sisters, and friends. Others of us did not lose anyone personally close to us, but we were given the distinct understanding of that being a possibility and made to understand what that means. It means that is the last thing that person will have ever done in life; lay down their life in service to their nation. No matter that person’s motivation or what else they've done in their life, the last thing they did was to die for their country.

            This is the noblest thing I can think of, and to me, these individuals deserve the highest honors. They should receive accolades more than anyone else. This is what Memorial Day means. We think of, and are grateful for, those who have died in service to … us. At most, they personally saved millions of citizens by laying down their life. At the very least, they heard the call of the country and answered it, and that was the last thing they did. For this they deserve a special day.

            “What’s the big deal?” many people say to us. We care about the difference between Memorial and Veterans’ Day, and we say so. We call out companies and businesses that capitalize on Memorial Day under the guise of “honoring our veterans” and we mention on social media that we don't want people to thank us for our service on Memorial Day. They ask, “What do you care? What does it hurt to thank a veteran on Memorial Day?”

            Well, to us it means you are taking the focus off what is important, and what is special about this day. It means you are lumping us all in together. It means you are not giving credit where credit is due. Yes it is true that we volunteered to protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, up to and including with our lives. But we didn’t die. We didn't end up making the ultimate sacrifice. Someone else did. Thousands upon thousands of servicemembers have died in service to this nation (over a million if you include the time before WWI), and these are the people who deserve the respect and thought on this day.

            This is why we living veterans don't like it when we are lumped into the Memorial Day reverence. It feels like a slap in the face to those who truly deserve the respect and thanks.